Friday, December 22, 2006
Sometimes i don't know what i'm doing from 1 minute to the next...
You know, it's really hard being everyone's pillar of strength.. it's hard to be the one people rely on or look to when they are in need.. I'm not complaining.. i am absolutely willing to give and be there and help, no questions asked.. But i always discover theat when this pillar of strength needs a little support.. she only has herself to depend on... at some point, i'm afraid the pillar will just crack and fall to pieces... I'm afrain i'll just fall to pieces...
How fair is it that me being who i am. Always trying to take care of everyone else.. Never has anyone to take care of me? God knows i know that giving is not about getting anything back... but i just wish that sometimes, i'd be on the recieving end..
i hate not having anyone to depend on.. i hate that i can't rely on anyone at all.. i hate that that when i help someone, and they are happy again.. they walk off and be happy with everyone else and just leave me in exactly the same place..
" it's like everyone came in the same big car and know each other and get along.. and i'm the girl that walked there.."
Most of all.. i hate all the disappointment...
Whenever i need help.. i need someone to be there for me.. There's no one there.. it's always about them and their problems.. Would someone freaking remember that im a freaking human being too???? sometimes its like when i try to reach out, "hey i'm feeling a bit down today.." and the response is " oh dear i hope you feel better, so any way i.....( insert problem here)"
Yah.. thanks for listening.
I swear i'm not saying never come to me for ur problems.. like i said before i'm glad to help.. and it's not your fault that you are caught up in ur own world.. I just wish sometimes, somebody would notice that i'm not all great either.. and for once ask me about me.. Then again, it's not your fault.. really.. It's human nature.. Guess i just need to find my other half.. the one person who i guess i will finally be able to rest my soul with.. to complete me and to fill all my emptiness.. To be my pillar..
So...
Dear god.. Just please give me strength... Let me be there for those i love but let me find someone to be there for me.. to be my strength.. to be my pillar... cause right now, i feel like i'm starrting to crack inside and some cracks are starting to show on the surface.. pls god let me find that person before i totally crash and burn..Soon.
Starred at |6:24 AM|
+~+
Sometimes i don't know what i'm doing from 1 minute to the next...
You know, it's really hard being everyone's pillar of strength.. it's hard to be the one people rely on or look to when they are in need.. I'm not complaining.. i am absolutely willing to give and be there and help, no questions asked.. But i always discover theat when this pillar of strength needs a little support.. she only has herself to depend on... at some point, i'm afraid the pillar will just crack and fall to pieces... I'm afrain i'll just fall to pieces...
How fair is it that me being who i am. Always trying to take care of everyone else.. Never has anyone to take care of me? God knows i know that giving is not about getting anything back... but i just wish that sometimes, i'd be on the recieving end..
i hate not having anyone to depend on.. i hate that i can't rely on anyone at all.. i hate that that when i help someone, and they are happy again.. they walk off and be happy with everyone else and just leave me in exactly the same place..
" it's like everyone came in the same big car and know each other and get along.. and i'm the girl that walked there.."
Most of all.. i hate all the disappointment...
Whenever i need help.. i need someone to be there for me.. There's no one there.. it's always about them and their problems.. Would someone freaking remember that im a freaking human being too???? sometimes its like when i try to reach out, "hey i'm feeling a bit down today.." and the response is " oh dear i hope you feel better, so any way i.....( insert problem here)"
Yah.. thanks for listening.
I swear i'm not saying never come to me for ur problems.. like i said before i'm glad to help.. and it's not your fault that you are caught up in ur own world.. I just wish sometimes, somebody would notice that i'm not all great either.. and for once ask me about me.. Then again, it's not your fault.. really.. It's human nature.. Guess i just need to find my other half.. the one person who i guess i will finally be able to rest my soul with.. to complete me and to fill all my emptiness.. To be my pillar..
So...
Dear god.. Just please give me strength... Let me be there for those i love but let me find someone to be there for me.. to be my strength.. to be my pillar... cause right now, i feel like i'm starrting to crack inside and some cracks are starting to show on the surface.. pls god let me find that person before i totally crash and burn..Soon.
Starred at |6:24 AM|